You don’t have to be a meteorologist to see that storms don’t organize the same way long appeared to. We’ve been looking at weather maps our entire lives. Thanks to the news, and eventually the popular Weather Channel, weather maps have been in front of us just like the screen in the front of a class room all this time. Regular weather patterns are ingrained in a lot of us. The where’s, when’s, and how’s of the the blue H’s, red L’s, and front lines have become a sort of informal expertise about what to expect with impending forecasts, plans associated with them, and what weather events look like as they happen. It just became familiar. As weather reporting formulated into sensationalized hype, things changed. I know for myself, the combination of hype and inaccuracy prompted a stop. So, not unlike when you don’t see a kid for a while, the next time you see them they’ve changed a lot. So it is with these weather and radar maps that you see now. Through the end of winter/ beginning of spring here in the northeast of the US the images are an unrecognizable smudge of random, disorganized images. It’s a weather smear.
Weather reporting is officially entertainment in the modern world, so when meteorological terms fail, make more up. Like script writers in an echo chamber, forecast schedulers are forced into running up creative terminology. Programed puppets, aka meteorologists, reflexively spit out the what have you lately terms to describe unprecedented weather events. Terms like weather whiplash, ridiculously resilient ridge, snownadoe, fire weather, and who knows how many more imbecilic terms that are no more scientific than wet rain. All this flimflam comes pouring out the serfs of the corporate conglomerates targeting us with advisory hype. Sure enough, it’s snowing. Never mind that it’s 35 degrees F out there. The cotton ball like “flakes” are adding up. The frozen stuff is sloppy, wet, and heavy. It’s gross. Out of curiosity, I check the local radar. Ok?! There’s the map. There’s no organization at all. This is like a schizophrenic weather hack.
A non traditional river of meteorological flotsam lined up diagonally from the Gulf to Nova Scotia, is smearing randoms spots, and dots, of what must be some form or another of this same slop falling here. Meanwhile the hype sirens are screaming, “Snow in the spring time!!” Thoughts of artificial weather generation drape my mind. Inductions of moisture steered through the ether with injections of endothermic chemical seeds and blasts of microwave pulses tapping the water to ice-hail-crap drop offs. It is intriguing to see how far from natural these events have become, although it’s crushing to know how polluted it is. Ode to a chemical free minute or two. Seems like a lot to ask as we get rubbed with another weather smudge and smear.